


Do Not Disturb

by silvercobwebs



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Protective Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvercobwebs/pseuds/silvercobwebs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter protects the things he considers most precious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Not Disturb

It all starts boringly enough, Wade thinks as he and Peter make their way out of Avengers tower (without several armed escorts or anything! Wade almost giggles in girlish glee). Peter was in the area, needed to talk about some science junk that Stark was suddenly so fascinated by blah blah blah significant global impact blah blah bioenginerringcakes, and of course Wade has to follow, sticking to Peter’s side like a particularly tenacious limpet.

They’re just about to cross the street, and Spider-Woman (for the last time, Peter reminds him, no they’re not related, and no she is not obliged to engage in nominative-similarity-based threesomes) arches a brow and crosses their path.

'You are freakishly scary sometimes.' Jessica announces, continuing her journey, whilst Wade beams with pride.

'Thank you!' he calls after her, 'I also do birthday parties!' not having noticed the direction of her gaze. Peter coughs, stares at his shoes for a moment, and swallows before quickly tugging at Wade's arm, muttering something about needing to get back soon because they'll miss their cartoons.

###

The second time it happens, Wade’s suspicions are aroused. Well, his suspicions aren’t exactly perky and need a strategically placed cushion over them, but they’re certainly feeling a little uncomfortably warm.

They’re out together again, obviously, only this time they’re queuing for hot dogs – Wade is all for barging his way to the front of the line with the aid of some pointy katana-shaped friends, but Peter gives him the Look, and Wade sighs with all the grace of a petulant three year old, but doesn’t protest. Much.

Someone joins the line behind them and Peter’s whole body stiffens just a little. He turns and offers the person behind him the same expression Wade’s seen him give to suspicious-looking clumps of hair found in the shower tray. Must be the Ex Without Chemistry. Charlie, or Carlisle, or whatever the hell she’s called. Wade doesn’t even need to bother with the obnoxious smirk followed by the oh-so casual resting of his hand over Peter’s hip, because **everyone** knows those two dating was the worst idea since Quesada’s One More Day fiasco, but he still does it just the same. He’s an asshole, it’s his job. He doesn’t want to be negligent, now does he?

'Uh hey Carlie!,' Peter offers a hesitant smile. 'Great afternoon for hotdogs, right?'

Carlie looks from Peter, to Wade (holographic image inducer for the win, Wade inwardly crows, as his blond haired and beautifully manicured projected image grins harder), and back to Peter again.

'Hey guys,' she gives Wade a cursory nod. 'So this is the reason I couldn't get anywhere near your front door last week, huh?'

'Well I'm pretty diligent in keeping out all visitors, you know,' Wade helpfully offers before Peter has a chance to open his mouth. 'I was thinking of setting up a tripwire or few bear traps but apparently that's “inhumane and unsociable”, so now there's just the bucket full of water balanced on top of the doorframe. Oop, I've foiled my master plan! Curses!'

Peter sighs. He does that a lot around Wade, he’s noticed.

'I'm sorry,' he says to Carlie, and for a moment there it looks like he's apologising for something other than Wade's behaviour. 'I.. Later, okay?'

Carlie nods and offers a mildly amused grimace. They get their hotdogs, and once more Wade is practically dragged away from the area. Not that he minds, but well… it is rather weird, the way his Spidey’s been acting with certain people of late.

###

The third time it happens, the jig is well and truly up. Whatever that means. Wade’s pretty sure a jig’s supposed to be some kind of woodworking tool, but he doesn’t ponder it for too long when Wolverine starts growling in their direction. Ooh. A pissy Logan is always so much fun to torment.

They’ve been fighting some kind of giant mutated plucked chicken….thing. Both Wade and Peter have been trying to figure out which Kaiju category it should be given whilst Logan and a few stray Avengers have been pretending to be grown-ups and actually take it down.

The Category 2 (their shared conclusion – those talons are _sharp_ ) lands beak first on the pavement with a squawk, and Hawkeye gets the stinkeye from Mockingbird after making a too-obvious KFC gag. Peter meanwhile tries to rub off what seems to be a giant glob of chicken spit from his arm, muttering something decidedly creative in disgust. Once the dust has began to settle, Wade bounces on his toes as Logan stalks toward them.

'Come to warm me off your patch?' Wade cheerfully queries. 'Is there only room for one badass Canadian hunk of man slash mutant around the Avengers, or do you think we could arrange some kind of rota-'

You did good, Wilson,’ Logan growls at him. ‘Now shut your yap and quit trying to ruin it.’

'So why so glum, chum?'

'That's not what I was coming over here to say.' Logan sighs. Wow, another sigher. Maybe it's Wade's secret mutant power? Special Abilities: Regeneration, Exasperation, and um…Echolocation? 'I was going to say you oughta keep that kid on a leash, or somethin''

'Well I don't think out bedtime habits are any of your – wait wait wait' Wade starts to laugh. 'One second one momento one more what….were you talking to _me_ back there?’ he asks, unsure if he’s more floored by the idea of **Wolverine** of all people suggesting that someone was acting too wild, or that he was talking about Peter freakin’ Parker?

'…Pete?'

All eyes turn to the masked hero who’s currently checking under his armpit for pretend kaiju brain goop.

Peter looks up, once again thankful for a full face mask because he’s pretty sure he’s turned a rather exotic shade of pink. Cocktail pink, probably, complete with the little umbrella.

'I, uh…' he looks at Wade and his voice softens just a fraction. 'Well here's the thing. He was loud and you were sleeping.'

###

Wade doesn’t sleep.

Okay, so that’s technically a lie, because he does _sleep_ , but not so often that you would describe it as a regular occurrence.

Peter notices after a few weeks of weird and frighteningly fun dates that Wade is not what you would call on friendly terms with sleep. It’s a complicated relationship. He wants Sleep, craves her on a regular basis, they exchange the odd postcard, sure - but if he’s not being kept away from her by fizzy regenerating brain cells and constant physical pain, then she’s playing fickle with him, offering him the shortest of naps, or nightmares burrowed so deep into his cranium that going a week without even catching forty winks is a blessing in comparison.

So when Wade sleeps – **really** sleeps – six hours solid, sometimes even a day an a half, with no night-terrors, no scratching at his skin so hard that the blood stays under his fingernails for days…Just _sleep_ sleep? Well, Peter does absolutely everything in his power to make sure that Wade enjoys every precious minute of it.

He may be a little over vigilant, he confesses, after he watches Wolverine pick himself up from the pavement outside his apartment. His subsequent query as to Logan’s well being is met with a very clear one fingered salute. Maybe it’s somewhat understandable why the little guy’s so tetchy later on.

But still, Peter muses, he’s probably do it again. The punch, not the window thing, of course. People shouldn’t go leaving their giant windows sort’ve half-open in random places. It’s evidently a massive health and safety risk.

He’s certain he doesn’t imagine it, but Wade seems just a little bit better after he gets a solid bout of shuteye. He’s just that little bit calmer, his words veering more closely toward playful than sharp, and for a little while at least – he’s more focused, **stable** , almost.

And of course waking up to all that, as well as warm arms around his body and kisses pressed to his shoulder? Well, that’s just the best side-effect he could ever dream of.

###

Peter ends his confession with a hapless shrug, and looks at Wade expectantly. Logan’s eyes narrow for a moment, then his gaze sweeps over to meet that of his former team-mate. Both are waiting for some kind of unnecessarily dramatic over-reaction. Peter suspects immediately and deeply inappropriate groping as a sign of affection, whilst Logan is sure Wade’s manly pride will be dented, and he’ll leave in a huff of spandex and shotguns.

'Thanks,' Wade says as he tucks a knife into a sheath by the top of his boot.

Logan pauses, offers a non-committal grunt and mutters something about needing some form of liquid refreshment. Preferably alcohol based.

The two remaining men finish dusting themselves off in silence. A minute passes, and Peter glances at his companion.

'Okay, I think he's out of earshot now.'

Peter’s body is violently yanked towards his boyfriend’s in a spine-crushing hug as Wade treats Peter’s tongue like the last bit of spaghetti left on the plate.

”You threatened your friends for me? You threatened **Wolverine** for me?’ Wade asks as he reluctantly lets Peter come up for air.

'Well, I may have accidentally thrown him out of a window just a little one time. Accidentally. Did I mention it was an accident?' Mostly. Peter's pretty sure he'd forgotten about the window being there. Pretty mostly sure.

'You inflicted _violence_ for little ol’ me?! Holy wow Pete, you’re the best Spider-defenestrating growly unkempt furballs-man a guy could ever ask for!’ Wade’s feet don’t appear to be touching the ground.

'You're still such a ridiculous fanboy, you know that right?'

'I ship us.' Wade shrugs. 'We're Tumblr-approved. Deal with it.'

He pauses abruptly as they start to make their way back home. ‘Waitaminute. Why was Logan even hanging around the apartment in the first place? You’re not exactly BFFs five eva.’

Peter opens his mouth, closes it, seems to chew on a piece of invisible pork rind and slides an arm around Wade’s shoulder. ‘Tell you what. Let me tuck you in and I’ll tell you all about it.’

’-?!’

'I said TUCK.'

 

-end.


End file.
